The Scottish Invasion thread!

[Murray]

Fit like loons!?

Got some pics of what I done on me hols at the start of the month.

Had to shove in a petrol tank into my Grandpa's MK3 Astra. So I painted and waxoyl'd up a tank I had in stock (from my old Cesaro no less). Then got the car on ramps and with help from Curtis. Had to drain a 3/4 full tank out of the bastard.



But it wasn't gonna be easy. I snapped the rod for the handbrake lever and I found a lovely crack in the floorpan!!

So out with this...



Then I had to weld up this!



Got it done (no pics as phone had died by then), wasn't a pretty weld job. But it'll do and chucked everything back in. Job jobbed .

Best bit is, said car is to be given to me. But I got to find him a nice and cheap newer car. So i'd been thinking of finding him a MK4 Astra 1.6 8v Auto.

[Melv]

Good work John. Mk4 sounds like a sensible plan.

lmao at the GSi rear lights on your Granpa's mk3 though. He's rocking it with the young ones lmao

Steal me the wheel trims for the corsa though!

[DarrenF]

Amazingly enough I have just spent approx £5200 on a new Z20LEH, M32, FMIC, Remap, Miltek etc for my mk4 GSi Turbo thinking my problems was over...

2600 miles later on the new engine and one shattered driveshaft lmao lmao lmao gutted.

[Melv]

ffs Daz. How did you do that? Hooning around were you? lmao

[Murray]

Good work John. Mk4 sounds like a sensible plan.

lmao at the GSi rear lights on your Granpa's mk3 though. He's rocking it with the young ones lmao

Steal me the wheel trims for the corsa though!

lmao

Aye he's gettting the banging tunes of Kenny Rogers and Chas and Dave on the standard sound system.

Me and Curtis once used some tint spray on his front indys and side reapeaters just to make him go mental. But he like them so much he ran about with uber black front lights for 3 months lmao! Mind he did wonder why people including the Police gave him funny looks.

But he is keen to get a newer Astra. I'm looking about for an Estate for 'em, a Club spec would be a bonus and under £1500. Should be easy to pick up one.

The trims are yours when I can get 'em next.

Amazingly enough I have just spent approx £5200 on a new Z20LEH, M32, FMIC, Remap, Miltek etc for my mk4 GSi Turbo thinking my problems was over...

2600 miles later on the new engine and one shattered driveshaft lmao lmao lmao gutted.

As Melv said, you been giving it Dixie with yon new motor?

What's it like now?

[Melv]

2.0

Z22se? Z18xe1?

C18XE as found in the 1.8 mk3 Astra GSi and Astra Cesaro. Known to push out more than the 125bhp they are quoted as. Kev_G on here had one which was 141bhp with only an exhaust iirc.

I can also fit the Lexmaul SS manifold I have on the Astra and the regal sport cat I have. Probably still going to be the least power at Rolling Road days but who cares. lmao

Got the C18XE Engine, Loom, Ecu , All mounts, Air filter, Coolant hoses and Bottle, Radiator, Drive shafts, Hubs, more valver Calipers, 256mm Discs and dash Clocks for a great price. No box but it should be easy enough to get an F18 or F20. Couldn't really turn it down to be honest.

The drawback - It's in Stevenage just North of Londonshire. However.......

Mum and my step dad stay about 15mis from there so they are handing over the cash and picking it up for me, storing it and taking it up the road when they move back to Scotland.

[GaryVaux]

Mk4 sounds a good idea murray, great cars, im on my third one DONT go for a 1.6 8v, there the slowest car ive ever driven, 65bhp, in a mk4 is worse than a life sentence in a columbian jail

Engine plan sounds great martin!! Id love a c18xe the same spec as my 16xe, that would make around 200-220bhp

[Murray]

Mk4 sounds a good idea murray, great cars, im on my third one DONT go for a 1.6 8v, there the slowest car ive ever driven, 65bhp, in a mk4 is worse than a life sentence in a columbian jail

lmao

If I was buying one for myself, i'd be straight for a 1.8 SXi/SRi. But it's only for me Grandpa, the quickest thing he's ever owned car wise is that 1.4 Auto MK3 lmao.

I could start looking for a CD or CDX with a 1.8 16v. I'm sure they came as Autos?

[CortraGTE]

Afternoon troops, it's Friday can't wait for tonight Scott Brown, Neophyte and the Noize Suppressor. Buzzin!!!! It should be hoofing!

[rickisgrate]

seriously thinking about selling the astra now, been out for the past 2 days fixing all the broken bits on the vectra and now its driving spot on, its a well comfy barge where as i took the astra into the town centre on wednesday morning (btw kilmarnock is impossible to get parked on a weekday morning) and its a complete tank to drive even though is smaller than the vectra, heavy steering, solid suspension, squeaks, rattles, and it doesnt even have a working ariel

[CortraGTE]

That sounds like a bit strange but fair enough.

You Know You're A Royal Marine When.....

You know you've been Defence institutionalised (Made military) when...You use target indication to point out hot chicks...

You use the term 'chicks'

You insist on dancing like a dick, whilst your civvie mates insist on trying to dance 'properly'.

Your civvie mates don't understand any of the terminology you use such as 'no dramas', 'squared away', 'take a knee', 'get the wets on' etc....

You answer the phone with 'send!' and can't help saying "Roger", "Say again" and other snappy bits of VP

You use acronyms thinking your civvie mates will understand what you are talking about

You don't have any civvie mates....

You cringe, and mutter under your breath 'haircut', when you see men with long hair.

You walk at a ridiculous pace and are physically incapable of walking at the shopping pace of your girlfriend.

You refer to personal organisation as "admin"

Your girlfriend is stored in your mobile phone address book as 'Zero Alpha'

You use patrol hand signals in a night club if people can't hear you

You always use the 24 hour clock....

Nothing marines do shocks you any more....

You can't watch war movies without giving a running commentary...

...and explaining to everyone the slightest inaccuracy.

You go out of your way to abuse and annoy women despite regretting it everytime you go home drunk and alone

Whenever you spell something out you use the phonetic alphabet....

You don't trust your mum/wife/girlfriend/any woman to iron your kit because deep down you think that your ironing is better....

You point using your whole hand in a karate chop motion....

You find that the conversation somehow always comes back round to you, because you're more interesting than most topics of conversation....

You think not shaving is a treat....

You get really irritated when people you don't know call you 'mate'....

You can read a junk mail catalogue from cover to cover and refer to everything that is useful as a Gucci bit of kit.

Whenever you leave people you always do it by saying 'i'm popping smoke'

You spend hours wondering where in civvie street you can get an equal disposable income and at least 6 weeks holiday a year, by completing an inversely proportionally tiny amount of tangible work

Your blood boils when you see civvies wearing DPM. And because it's split rig.

Going out on the town wherever it may be, or whichever course one is on, involves forming the ring-of-steel, talking about ourselves and the Marines and aggressively staring at girls; who if they don't immediately come over are obviously lesbians.

Should any man dare break this ritual, and despite talking to the prettiest of girls - as we would like to do, if it weren't for the fact we tend to chew our own tongues and dribble - he is clearly gay!

You come out in a cold sweat if you find yourself still working after lunch on a Friday....

You have to stop work at 10am for NAAFI break or else you might not make it to lunch....

At least half of your DVD collection are war movies....

Even though your disposable income is twice that of a civvie you still manage to spend it all, every month, with nothing to show for it, about a week after you've told all your soldiers that you 'can't believe how much money they waste on the urine'....

You feel guilty about wearing jeans in front of senior officers in the mess

The sight of rolling countryside makes you scan for 'enemy depth'....

You think that eating every meal for a week with the same spoon that you licked clean and kept in the pocket of the same shirt you've worn all week is perfectly normal....

You'd rather walk 4 miles out of your way round the outside of the camp rather than 10 metres if it means passing an officer and having to salute him/her.

All of your food has to be prepared by a chef because you're incapable of cooking anything that can't either be boiled in a bag or eaten cold....

You lie when people ask you what you do for a living....

When leaving your phone number on a voice message you can't just give it once, it has to be repeated.

When surveying open ground (when not looking for enemy in depth) you imagine the best place to site an OP. If a forestry block - the best route to get a section in.

You survey open ground.

When you are pointing out some natural feature you begin with "Reference bushy topped tree etc etc"

Your girlfriend has started saying "admin", asking if you'd like a ''wet'' and gave you the "Chop" when telling you to put the bin out.

Your family knows when your 'threaders' and what it means

When meeting mates in a pub you always turn up 5 minutes early and are secretly angry that nobody else has.....Worse still, if it's a venue you haven't been to before, you turn up 15 minutes early to put in a CTR, in order that you are definitely there 5 minutes early.

You subconsciously red-pen everything you read.

You have 'life on the Ocean Wave' as your mobile ring tone

You have the globe and laurel as your screensaver

It annoyed you that I didn’t use a capital ‘G’ and ‘L’ in the previous line

You have a year round tan that runs from your hands to mid-arm and makes a nice ‘v’ on your chest

You have more than one pussers tattoo

Your missus knows what 'pussers' means

In work even your bessie oppo won’t leave his rifle loafing with you because he knows you’ll pick him up for some dirt on it (when you strip it down behind his back)

You go for a drink with your civvie mates and proceed to explain and demonstrate to them the subtleties of CQB (tap, tap, weapon sweep, eye thump, tango down, marking, standing...)

You’re idea of a serious relationship involves an Arbers/Taunton/Plymouth chick

You know the best runs ashore in at least 5 of the following, Exmouth, Taunton, Plymouth, Arbroath, Helensburgh, Barnstable, Watford, Oakhampton or Dubai

You continually use phrases like “pound to a piece of ****”

Then finish your phone call with “roger, out”

You own at least 4 books about the Royal Marines, over 20 if you include McNab or Ryan.

When you came on Facebook you searched for every Royal Marine group/profile

And joined most of them

At EVERY family occasion (wedding birthday christening etc) you end up getting drunk because one relative knows about the TTQ (to the Queen) rule and knows you will uphold it

After you get drunk you then proceed to announce to all your relatives that you ‘are turbo ****ers’

Then call a naked bar

And actually do it

You think dressing up as a chick is the best thing ever.

Everyone in your family uses the word 'hoofin'

[rickisgrate]

whoa that was longlmao

decided im gonna sponsor a donkey

[Melv]

decided im gonna sponsor a donkey

Didn't know they were selling shares in the Scottish Parliament! lmao

[GaryVaux]

Thats me all booked up and paid for the knockhill track day on the 7th. Just hope i can get the car ready by then!!

Just booked plane tickets, glasgow to birmingham. Going to see my cousin greg on fri, he moved to cheltenham like 2 years ago, stil not got round to visiting him So as im on my "summer holidays" (yeah late, but its rota'd holidays) its ideal.

[Gordon Livsey]

why is it now that im saving up to move away, i see an evo 6 that is local to me for sale for a reasonable price, damn it lmao!!!!!!

[GaryVaux]

Evening gordon!

[wilson_bw]

Thats me all booked up and paid for the knockhill track day on the 7th. Just hope i can get the car ready by then!!

Hope you dont bump it Dont think i would of had the balls to take mine out incase someone hit it! Your a brave man!

Might try and fire up to watch, iv no excuse really considering im literally 5 minutes from the track!

[Gordon Livsey]

Evening gordon!

ahoy hoy mr Black, hows things? im just back from aberdeen/peterhead/fraserburgh this week, anything happened, have i missed any drama lol

[Gordon Livsey]

Thats me all booked up and paid for the knockhill track day on the 7th. Just hope i can get the car ready by then!!

Just booked plane tickets, glasgow to birmingham. Going to see my cousin greg on fri, he moved to cheltenham like 2 years ago, stil not got round to visiting him So as im on my "summer holidays" (yeah late, but its rota'd holidays) its ideal.

feckin hell, your brave lmao, just watch out for nuggets on the track with 150 quid cavaliers etc as they tend not to give a fook lmao

[Mark_F]

Eurgh. 2nd quote for helicoiling 8 M8 threads was £150-170.

[Lugy]

Eurgh. 2nd quote for helicoiling 8 M8 threads was £150-170.

Are the threads stripped? Is there a broken drill/tap/screw inside? Is the part big or small? Are the threads massively long?

[Mark_F]

Are the threads stripped? Is there a broken drill/tap/screw inside? Is the part big or small? Are the threads massively long?

Stripped threads. No broken anythings inside. The part is big, but liftable/managable. The threads are about 1-2cm deep and all easily accessible. Its a joke I tells thee.

[Lugy]

Stripped threads. No broken anythings inside. The part is big, but liftable/managable. The threads are about 1-2cm deep and all easily accessible. Its a joke I tells thee.

Bring it to me and I'll sort it out

[keithcdb]

Bring it to me and I'll sort it out

Oi! Spacer first boyo

[Lugy]

Oi! Spacer first boyo

Other spacers first

I've fallen in love with the Merc again I'm even contemplating selling the Landy lmao Unless of course, whatever job I get gives me enough money for 2 toys