What to do??

[Scary_Fish]

OK not attention whoring - genuine situation.

Ex BF of 8 years ago (yes 8 years) that i finished with has pestered me on and off for the last - well 8 years. Every time i see him (lives in same town) he starts calling again or turns up ay the house. He doesn't do anything threatening or anything but it is starting to really freak me out.

Latest effort was after seeing him (and totally blanking him) in pub last night, calling my house phone (thank god hasn't got my mobile number) at 3 this morning - i missed call but woke me up then he called straight back and hung up when i answered. A couple of weeks ago saw him at a beer festival and he just stared at me for the whole night pointing me out to his mates then sent one of thos text to land line messgaes saying he would love to see me again, ignored it so a few days later rang when i was out and mum answered so he left a message with a fake name!! He hasn't bothered me for 2 years. Last time he did this i told the BF at the time about it and it freaked him out. i think it had a lot to do with why we finished so am reticent to tell current BF of a few months (who could and probably would flatten this bloke) but i don't wanna freak him out and for him to get wrong idea as this scum bag is the type to say all kinds of stuff.

OK so as i say this bloke hasn't done anything THAT bad but is weird and starting to really bother me - it's 8 years ago - i chucked him - he did not 'make a mistake' i ended it!!

(incidently when i was seeing him he was cheating, taking out secret loans, threatening my male friends and a general ****)

What do i do??

[Nemesis]

Mature thing to do:
Ring him and explain why you don't want to see him. Make it quite clear you have no feelings for him. If he doesn't understand, explain that his c0ck is too small, and you were never sure if it was in or not.

Immature thing to do:
Tell your new boyfriend he's pestering you, and he's also been known to interfere with little boys.

3rd option:
Find a "mate" that you don't really like all that much, and hook her up with him! That kills two birds with one stone.

[Scary_Fish]

Mature thing to do:
Ring him and explain why you don't want to see him. Make it quite clear you have no feelings for him. If he doesn't understand, explain that his c0ck is too small, and you were never sure if it was in or not.

Been here - every other occassion (dozens of times) he has called i have said quite plainly i do not want anything to do with him - i ended it with good reason please leave me alone. On one occasion he told me his mum thought we should get back together - WTF??

Immature thing to do:
Tell your new boyfriend he's pestering you, and he's also been known to interfere with little boys.

I don't actually think current fella is type to go throwing his weight around - worry that it would seen weird like i had something to hide if he found out and I hadn't told him.
3rd option:
Find a "mate" that you don't really like all that much, and hook her up with him! That kills two birds with one stone.

Wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy mate!!

[Nemesis]

How about ring him, and say unless he leaves you alone you will contact the police. Give him a chance to stop, but make it clear if he persists you will call them.

[Scary_Fish]

How about ring him, and say unless he leaves you alone you will contact the police. Give him a chance to stop, but make it clear if he persists you will call them.

In all seriousness would they actually do anything - given that it's such low level creepyness??

Cheers for reply dude

[Nemesis]

Ringing your house phone at 3am... absolutely. That's harassment!

[MartG]

In all seriousness would they actually do anything - given that it's such low level creepyness??

Cheers for reply dude

Sound awfully close to stalking to me, so Police could well be interested. Alternative is to go to court and take out a private injunction against him

[rhydgte]

It's harrasment, say he's affecting your sleep,work,social life etc

[Scary_Fish]

Cheers all - we do jokingly call him my stalker - the worst stalker in the world - leaves two years between contacts lol.....

Joking aside tho this last few weeks has got a bit much - making me feel uncomfortable - leaving pubs if i see him - making bloke mates come to the bar or cash point with me Not on really.

Edit : what do we think about telling current BF? I really don't think he would actually 'do' anything if i asked him not to.

[Dave Dempsey]

Why not contact your phone provider and have his number blocked, if he continues then contact the Police, them ahving a word may be enough to put him off.

[lethal]

By jimminy you must be fit.

[Scary_Fish]

Why not contact your phone provider and have his number blocked, if he continues then contact the Police, them ahving a word may be enough to put him off.

Can they do that even if he is withholding number? He didn't on a couple of occassions so i do have it but can it still be blocked if with held on a call?

Cheers

[Scary_Fish]

By jimminy you must be fit.

Thats what makes it weirder - i'm not all that lool lmao

[johnhara1]

Tell your boyfriend, if it was my lass being harassed id hope she would tell me.

[Dave Dempsey]

Can they do that even if he is withholding number? He didn't on a couple of occassions so i do have it but can it still be blocked if with held on a call?

Cheers

AFAIK yes they can still do it even when with holding caller id. Would say its definately something to speak to your phone company about as it will atleast stop early morning calls.

[Scary_Fish]

Tell your boyfriend, if it was my lass being harassed id hope she would tell me.

You don't thonk it could be taken the wrong way - like something going on?

[lethal]

Thats what makes it weirder - i'm not all that lool lmao

This fellow must think you are.

My advice (ropey as it is) is to confront the guy. He'll probably bugger off permanenty after that.

It may, of course, also be the case that he is completely batsh!t and actually treats the confrontation as some sort of interest on your part lmao

[Scary_Fish]

AFAIK yes they can still do it even when with holding caller id. Would say its definately something to speak to your phone company about as it will atleast stop early morning calls.

Will get onto it cheers

[johnhara1]

AFAIK yes they can still do it even when with holding caller id. Would say its definately something to speak to your phone company about as it will atleast stop early morning calls.

I dont think that would stop him if he's that obsessed he would just use a phonebox or a different mobile number to ring you. If you want his calls to stop could you change your landline number? or does he know friends of yours who could give him the new number?

[Scary_Fish]

This fellow must think you are.

My advice (ropey as it is) is to confront the guy. He'll probably bugger off permanenty after that.

It may, of course, also be the case that he is completely batsh!t and actually treats the confrontation as some sort of interest on your part lmao

I think he might be that mad.

The 'i made a mistake we should try again' 5hit after knowing i ended it back this up lool...

If i see him out this weekend will have a few choice words i think - will keep it calm tho

[lethal]

If i see him out this weekend will have a few choice words i think - will keep it calm tho

Nah, drive the message home with a swift right

[Scary_Fish]

I dont think that would stop him if he's that obsessed he would just use a phonebox or a different mobile number to ring you. If you want his calls to stop could you change your landline number? or does he know friends of yours who could give him the new number?

All my pals know the score and don't even give him the time of day - had to talk the lads out of chucking him in the local lake with breeze blocks tied to his feet so i doubt they'd pass on a number.

Not sure changing number is an option at the moment - is my parents house/number so would be no end of bother for them - obvioulsy if it got more serious they would be prepared to do it but not just yet i don' think. Will try the number barring and take it from there.

[Scary_Fish]

Nah, drive the message home with a swift right

Was thinking more along the lines of nice glass if merlot over the head Childish but hell it would feel good.

[johnhara1]

You don't thonk it could be taken the wrong way - like something going on?

If she told me what he was doing then no i dont think it could be takern the wrong way really as i trust her 100% but if i found out from him e.g i answered her phone and he asks for her it might get me asking questions. especially if she'd not been acting herself lately (due to being harassed)

[Scary_Fish]

If she told me what he was doing then no i dont think it could be takern the wrong way really as i trust her 100% but if i found out from him e.g i answered her phone and he asks for her it might get me asking questions. especially if she'd not been acting herself lately (due to being harassed)

The freak doesn't have my mobile number and fella is quite new so wouldn't answer house phone - but i get the point - will drop it in convo casually lol - 'hey had a nice day? By the way i have a stalker'......