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    Once caught crabs in Cromer but a visit to the clinic soon sorted that out. Worked part time for Bernard Matthews but got the sack after being caught with his hand up a bird.

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    Ummmm how can one compete with that intesely accurate description of my shed?? In fact i want to know when Allvaux was in my shed.....damn guard chickens should have got him!!

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    He is a big posh sod with plums in his mouth, and the plums have mutated and have got beaks. He make pigs smoke and feeds beefburgers to swans. On top of that he has big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. And in these sheds he has 20 ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going 'Oh why am I so massive?' and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small.- Does he deny that? No, I think his silence speaks volumes.
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