Vauxhall Owners Forum banner

Reaction score
1

Marketplace Rating
(5.0 - 12 reviews)

Profile posts Latest activity Discussions Buy & Sell Reviews About

  • · East Midlands Regional Coordinator
    Joined
    ·
    40,434 Posts
    Funniest thing ever?

    Claiming not to be a scouser, ****ing off for a bit, then coming back to say your bike has been nicked! Well you know what? I hope it's been either weighed in, dumped in a canal or rode straight into Wayne's private jet.

    · Registered
    Joined
    ·
    13,039 Posts
    You twat! It was ****ing ace, I'll have to trawl the web for it as I can't recall where you posted it.
    All good here me old knob warbler, how's life with you?

    · East Midlands Regional Coordinator
    Joined
    ·
    40,434 Posts
    Sorry mate I never saved it!

    How you keeping? You large-handed chunk of Wales' finest

    · Banned
    Joined
    ·
    19 Posts
    I was ****ing wasted last night pal. I got in and my fingers smelt like Dragons and Gareth Bale. Then I realised that I must have been finger bashing your Mrs. She is very patriotic, she acknowledged that it has been the first time anyone has ever given a **** about invading her...

    · Registered
    Joined
    ·
    13,039 Posts
    It's '....please don't take my hub caps away' at the end you Mancunian bumlord.

    · Registered
    Joined
    ·
    321 Posts
    You are a scouser, an ugly scouser, you're only happy, on giro day, your mums out thieving, your dads drug dealing, so please leave my hubcaps alone.

    · Registered
    Joined
    ·
    13,039 Posts
    He's a ****ing moron mate. A grade one, top drawer, weapons quality, knob smoking, Geordie/Scotch cast off moron who pipes off Captain Birds Eye so his mum can have some more frozen peas to shove up her swollen minge.

    · East Midlands Regional Coordinator
    Joined
    ·
    40,434 Posts
    Whats the beef with Wkdkris?

    By that logic you should be Carlingbilly

    · Banned
    Joined
    ·
    21,756 Posts
    1 scouse 2 scouse 3 scouse 4 all got crushed on a sheffield floor
    96 dead bastards was the final score
    but we're still not happy? cos' we all wanted more

    · Banned
    Joined
    ·
    21,756 Posts
    Allvaux's wife dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, "You're being charged with being good in bed..."

    After two minutes she said she was dropping the charges against Billy due to lack of evidence. * *

    · East Midlands Regional Coordinator
    Joined
    ·
    40,434 Posts
    Allvaux weighed in a bronze Iraq war memorial to fund his mate Ed Milliband's street party for multicultural gay disabled people.

    · East Midlands Regional Coordinator
    Joined
    ·
    40,434 Posts
    Allvaux weighed in the safety valves from his refinery to fund his union rep's Liverpool FC season ticket.

    · Banned
    Joined
    ·
    21,756 Posts
    After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one.

    The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

    The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.

    A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

    The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

    "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

    So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
    * *

    · Banned
    Joined
    ·
    21,756 Posts
    Two old age pensioners are having a 69.

    After five minutes he says, "Sorry, love, the smell's too bad down there - I can't carry on."

    "That'll be my arthritis," she says.

    "What? I never heard of anyone having arthritis in their fanny before."

    "No," she says. "It's in my arms and hands... I can't wipe me arse." * *
  • Loading…
  • Loading…
  • Loading…
  • Loading…
  • Loading…
Top