| 2 Funnies.....
My darling my lover,my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
Thats why I always wake up screaming.
Kind,intelligent ,loving and hot:
This describes everything you are not.
Love maybe beautiful,love may be bliss.
But I only slept with you because i was pissed.
I thought I could love no other,
That is until I met your brother.
Roses are red,violets are blue,sugar is sweet,and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,the violets are dead,the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But dont take that paperbag of your face.
I love your smile,your face and your eyes....
Damn Im good at telling lies!
My love,you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
except for maybe go to hell.
What inspired this amorous ryhme?
Two parts of vodka,one part of lime
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing.
Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the bloody height of this flagpole, but we don't have a bloody ladder.'
The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag,
loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde!
We need the bloody height and she gives us the bloody length.' | 
